Every night for years, the wealthiest man in Rome sat alone and interrogated himself. Not with harsh judgment - with honest curiosity. The practice transformed how he lived.

The Original Practice

Seneca was a Roman Stoic philosopher, advisor to Emperor Nero, and one of the most insightful writers on human nature. Despite his wealth and power - or perhaps because of them - he maintained a rigorous evening practice.

Here's how he described it:

"When the light has been removed and my wife has fallen silent... I examine my entire day and go back over what I've done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by. For why should I shrink from any of my mistakes, when I may commune thus with myself?
'See that you never do that again; I will pardon you this time. In that dispute, you spoke too offensively; after this don't have anything to do with ignorant people; those who have never learned do not want to learn. You admonished that person more frankly than you ought, and consequently you did not amend him but offended him. In the future, consider not only the truth of what you say, but also whether the person to whom you are speaking can tolerate the truth.'"

This is the evening review. Not harsh self-punishment, but honest self-examination. A way to learn from each day rather than letting it pass unexamined.

The Three Questions

Seneca's review can be distilled into three questions:

1. What bad habit did I resist today?

Where were you tempted and held firm? Maybe you:

Note: This isn't about perfection. It's about noticing where you exercised self-discipline, even imperfectly. Resistance is progress.

2. What virtue did I practice?

Where did you act well? The Stoics focused on four virtues:

Wisdom - Did you make a thoughtful decision? Consider multiple perspectives? Seek to understand before reacting?

Courage - Did you do something difficult that needed doing? Speak up? Have an uncomfortable conversation? Take a risk?

Justice - Did you treat someone fairly? Help someone? Keep a commitment? Act with integrity when you could have gotten away with less?

Temperance - Did you exercise moderation? Stop when you had enough? Resist excess?

Even small instances count. You don't need to have saved someone's life. Maybe you just listened well when you wanted to interrupt.

3. How am I better than yesterday?

What did you learn? What would you do differently? This question points forward.

It might be:

The goal isn't to be dramatically better each day. It's to accumulate small insights that compound over time.

How to Practice

Find Your Moment

Seneca did this before sleep, after his wife was quiet and the house was still. Find your equivalent:

The key is consistency. Same time, every day. It becomes automatic.

Keep It Brief

This should take five to ten minutes. Not an hour of journaling. Not exhaustive analysis. Just a quick review.

If you find yourself writing pages, you're probably ruminating, not reviewing. Keep it focused.

Write It Down (Or Don't)

Some people keep a physical journal. Some use phone notes. Some just think through the questions.

Writing creates a record you can review over time. Thinking is faster and more portable. Either works. The practice matters more than the format.

Stay Curious, Not Judgmental

Seneca describes "communing with himself" - not prosecuting himself. Notice the difference:

Judgment: "I was such an idiot in that meeting."

Curiosity: "What happened in that meeting? Why did I react that way? What could I try next time?"

Judgment shuts down learning. Curiosity opens it. You're a scientist studying yourself, not a judge punishing yourself.

Common Challenges

"I can't think of any virtues I practiced."

You're being too hard on yourself. Lower the bar. Did you show up to work? That's discipline. Did you feed your kids? That's duty. Did you not scream at someone who deserved it? That's temperance.

Virtue isn't only about grand gestures. It's about the small choices that make up a life.

"I keep finding the same problems."

Good. That means you're being honest. Patterns take time to change. Noticing the same issue repeatedly is the first step toward addressing it.

Seneca wasn't recording breakthroughs every night. He was doing the slow work of self-improvement, mistake by mistake, over years.

"This feels like dwelling on the negative."

There's a crucial difference between the evening review and rumination:

Rumination is repetitive, uncontrolled, and backward-looking. It circles the same thoughts without resolution. It makes you feel worse.

The evening review is structured, time-limited, and forward-looking. It examines the day to extract lessons for tomorrow. It's educational, not emotional.

If you feel worse after reviewing, you're probably ruminating. Keep the practice short and pointed. Learn something, then stop.

"I fall asleep before I do it."

Move it earlier. Do it at dinner. Do it on your commute. The timing is less important than doing it consistently.

Some people find that doing it right before bed actually helps them sleep - they've processed the day instead of carrying it into dreams.

The Deeper Purpose

The evening review isn't just about self-improvement. It's about taking responsibility for your life.

Most people float through days on autopilot. Things happen, they react, the day ends, they repeat. No examination. No learning. No intentional growth.

The evening review interrupts this drift. For five minutes, you're the author of your life, not just the subject. You're deciding what you stand for and measuring yourself against it.

Seneca again:

"Let us, then, balance life's books each day. He who daily puts the finishing touches to his life is never in want of time."

By "completing" each day through review, you stop accumulating unprocessed experiences. You don't carry yesterday's mistakes into tomorrow. You don't let unexamined patterns run your life.

Pairing with the Morning

The evening review works best when paired with morning preparation. Here's how they connect:

Morning: Acknowledge that difficulties will arise. Set an intention for the day. Identify what's in your control.

Evening: Review how you handled difficulties. Assess whether you lived your intention. Note what was actually in your control versus what wasn't.

The morning looks forward. The evening looks back. Together, they create a daily loop of intention and reflection that compounds over time.

Sample Evening Reviews

A Tough Day

What bad habit did I resist?

"When the project fell through, I didn't blame the team. I felt like blaming them, but I held back. Small win."

What virtue did I practice?

"Honesty with the client. I told them the truth about the delay instead of making excuses. They were disappointed but appreciated it."

How am I better than yesterday?

"I learned that I need more buffer time on deadlines. I keep underestimating by about 30%. I'll add that next time."

A Good Day

What bad habit did I resist?

"Didn't check email after dinner. Wanted to constantly but stuck to my rule."

What virtue did I practice?

"Really listened in the conversation with Sarah. Didn't try to fix, just understood. That's rare for me."

How am I better than yesterday?

"Realized that good days often follow nights where I sleep well. It's not random. I should protect sleep more seriously."

An Ordinary Day

What bad habit did I resist?

"Didn't complain about the weather. It's stupid, but I complain about weather a lot."

What virtue did I practice?

"Patience with the slow line at lunch. Didn't sigh or check my phone. Just waited."

How am I better than yesterday?

"Not dramatically. But I showed up, did the work, didn't make things worse. That counts."

Long-Term Benefits

After weeks and months of evening reviews, you'll notice:

Self-knowledge. You'll understand your patterns: when you're at your best, what triggers your worst, which virtues come easily and which require work.

Faster course correction. Problems get caught early. Instead of letting a bad habit run for years, you notice it in days.

Appreciation for progress. Looking back over weeks of notes, you'll see how far you've come. Growth that's invisible day-to-day becomes visible over time.

Accountability to yourself. Knowing you'll review the day changes how you live it. You become slightly more careful, slightly more intentional - not out of fear, but out of awareness.

Start Tonight

Don't wait for the perfect journal or the ideal time. Tonight, before you sleep, ask yourself:

  1. What bad habit did I resist today?
  2. What virtue did I practice?
  3. How am I better than yesterday?

Spend five minutes. Write or think. Be honest but not harsh.

Then do it again tomorrow.

The practice is simple. The effects compound. Years from now, you'll have thousands of days of examined life, a map of your growth, and a character deliberately shaped rather than accidentally formed.

That's what Seneca built, night after night, by candlelight, in ancient Rome.

Build yours.

"This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death." - Seneca

Don't let days pass unowned. Claim them each night.

Complete your practice:

"This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death." - Seneca

Don't let days pass unowned. Claim them each night.